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Note to Human
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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in Note from Cat's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, December 25th, 2011
8:49 am
dear mama and daddy

thank you for all the pretty paper to play with! it makes fun noises and rips so nice and easy. and thank you for the bags too. they are fun to climb in. oh the toy is nice too. but PAPER!!!!

your kittehs
Friday, July 15th, 2011
9:24 pm
Attack of the killer... apples?
It's not a note.

It's better.

Most intense kitten EVER.

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011
6:45 pm
Dear Minion,

Why do you let the barf elves in? They barfed on the counter and the floor. Do we have to put a hit out on them, like we did with the poop elves? We would never barf ever.

Thanks for blaming us,
Morticia and Harry

Current Mood: cranky
Sunday, May 29th, 2011
12:29 pm
horibul human
i spent hours stalking a nice littul birdy .i cort it and brort it in the house and was poking it wiv a paw. it was sqwawking so xcitingly .then u took it away to the garden.i am cross

oh? scritches you say ? ok then,i guess we 're still frends.

Thursday, May 19th, 2011
9:15 pm
Confined due to injury - WOE!
Dear Food Mom,

Why is I in jail? I is not naughty kitten. My leg less owie now, want to jump around and chase Atia and climb on kitty tree and say hi to bunnies. I like to pat the bunnies - they soft. Don't like being in jail. Bed is comfy, though.

More mousies, please.

Monday, May 16th, 2011
11:19 am
Note From Kitten

I needs one a deese. Pls take Evil Tiny Sister back an bring me owl wif strings onna legs instead. No more Evil Tiny Sister, k? thx.


Friday, May 13th, 2011
12:33 pm
I Know I was a Real Bad Girl
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for letting me have a few licks off the butter dish while you were buttering your biscuit this morning! I know, you told me I was a bad girl, but when you tell me in that half hearted voice, you know I won’t give it a second thought. Not that I can guarantee that I would have stopped if you had actually yelled at me. You know, I’m a cat, and I’m in charge around here! Besides, I know you’ll snuggle me when I curl up and pure next to you on the couch later. Speaking of which, it’s the perfect rainy day for snuggling on the couch, so why don’t you get off the computer and come over here!
Love you,
Friday, April 8th, 2011
5:03 pm
Note from Littlest Cat

Just because one is treed in a linen closet does not mean one cannot be in comfort.

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011
1:23 pm
Stupid Human Girl Type Thing

I is not pillow.

I has never been pillow.

You has lots pillows at ovver end of bed, I is at this end of bed.


If behaviour is not stoppings, I is taking teh revenges!

Current Mood: grumpy
Saturday, January 8th, 2011
5:22 pm
Cat Serenade in G Minor
Dear Softy,

You know I love that song*, and I looove when you sing to me. But I've considered the lyrics and amended them so that I can sing it to you.

And if you call,
I will answer
And if you fall,
I'll lick your nose
And if you pet
This silky coat
I'll purr for you

But I'm warning you
Don't ever do
Those crazy human things that you do (liek da vet, wtf softy?)
If you ever do,
I promise you,
I'll be the first to poop in your shoe
Now it's time to prove
That you've come back here
To feed me.

Feed me.

Feed me!

Note from human: Cookie's a sap for everything I sing to him, but Barenaked Ladies' Call and Answer is his current favourite, replacing my mangled BOOTIFUL AN' PURRFECT version of Que Sera, Sera. However, today he started mewing along; a new development, and I've been curious as to what his version is... ITZ A SONG AN' A WARNIN TOO.

Further note from human: He never lets me get through a 'Note From Human' without his input. Apologies. y? im sure dey luv mah curreckshuns. but i cant uze humin spellinz an gramber wen i has no time. also, u has a virus on ur elektrix box. want me to ficks? It's cool. I got it.

Current Mood: touched
Friday, January 7th, 2011
7:22 pm
W. T. F.
Dear Softest Lap (AKA Softy),

Yes. I have hidden the vet-pack again. Don't try to get the secret location out of me like you did last time, when you dragged your hand on my scratching post and I had to pounce and your fingerlet got hurt. I will not be guilted into revealing its whereabouts, so the only way to take me to see the Blue Dressed Maniacs is by enduring a long, long process involving much paper.

I'm very disappointed in you for trying this stunt again. Last time they did things to my butt, my paw, my throat, and they made me be asleep and cut me in the stomach. Then my blood clotted and burst through the stitches and you took me to see White Dressed Maniacs at one in the morning, which is when I nap. And do I really have to mention the indignity of being given a pink wrapping thing on my paw that is for girl cats?

Honestly, I thought I'd trained you better than this. Your only course of action now is to go through every single brand and type of gushyfudz until I find one I will eat and not throw up. Don't you know you have to work for my love?

I'd better go. I think you're coming back to the electric box.

- Cookie


Current Mood: devious
Saturday, August 21st, 2010
3:41 pm
I'm sorry I don't like cuddles and pets. I don't know how to deal with people. I like being outside moar than inside because I can be alone and have lots of space. I'm sorry I chase Midnight, but it's just because I don't know how to handle the other cats besides Rocky. I'm stressed being in this house.

Thank you for getting me fixed and getting me all my shots. I like not having kittens or getting sick. Thank you for trying to find me a new home instead of putting me down. I hope you can. I'd like a new home.


Non-note stuffCollapse )
Friday, July 16th, 2010
9:47 pm
Big things!

Big kat says i needs to be carful typings, but i don't noes how to spellz gud. I only...umm... tree...munths? Keep hearing hissy noise when paws on typeything.

Y big kat no play wif me? I goes and gives sniffs and paw at tail, and big kat just get grumpy and jump high. No let me jump high, though, keeps swatting at me. If big kat no want play, why big kat use paws? And have twitchy tail?

But u gives me good noms. U should give me more noms, tho. I has to meer a lot for my noms. Or you could let me eat big kat noms - she no finnish. You say dere's medisines in her noms, but I smells chicken, so I should eats.

No more clippy things on clawses, pleeze. R scary, and I needs clawses to climb post and play with big kat.

But u can give more chasey mouseys. And pickupcuddles when is bedtime.


PS - Why big kat have pitcher and me not have pitcher? I use blinky fuzzy mouse now, but you should get me pitcher to use.
9:38 pm
I am displeased
Foolish minion,

I thought you were nicely trained. Why did you feel the necessity to bring this hyper ball of grey fur into my house? It interrupts my naps, tries to eat my food, and is attempting to CLIMB ON MY BOXES. It seems to think it's some sort of cat, but it doesn't move like one, and it keeps TOUCHING MY TAIL. And it's persisting, even though I have duly growled, hissed, and swatted. It is not listening.

I will give you a week to get it out of here. If it leaves, I will resume sitting on the beanbag and allowing you to pet me.

Atia, Mistress of the Closet
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010
5:56 pm
Dear pet human
Dear pet human,aka Meowmie:

Why for did you put me in the cat jail and take me to that big white place where the human who smelled like lots of different cats poked and prodded me all over the place? Did you SEE what she stuck up my butt?! I tell you! Then, just to make things worse, she stuck a NEEDLE in me!

But she did shave the big mat out of my fur, and that made me feel better, so I did purr for her eventually. Don't tell anybody, okay?


Monday, July 12th, 2010
5:23 pm
mumy was watching the little men who run round in her laptop holding little sticks.she got very cross. she hit her head on the desk. she said fracking frelling and other bad words.i brought her a leef from outside to cheer her up.she liked it so i brort her a bigger one.
Saturday, June 5th, 2010
4:03 pm
What humans do?
So my humans are in the bedroom in da middle of da day. I want to go cuddle wif dem, but dey say "We are busy." Dey lying in bed! Dat's not "busy" to me!

I not unfurstand what humans do that make dem too busy for cuddling kittycats.
Sunday, May 9th, 2010
9:14 pm
caught yu momma!
Momma smelt like btrail when she come home, wut du yu tink? momma has other kity? Momma does give kity lotz of luvs but me jeloooooos  ... even bag and shoooeses smell like other kity ...

momma yu betta' not btrail kity or ...... else ...

companions in sufering urgent advize .... need to banquish homewreckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010
10:25 pm
All better!
Dr. Harry is all better! He really wasn't sick. Teh minion has been spraying calming spray, and everyone is calm. He even got a good neck scritching tonight, and teh minion is singing Ritchie Valens songs to me. Is good. (I know this isn't my journal, but the update was needed.)

Current Mood: chipper
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