Why for did you put me in the cat jail and take me to that big white place where the human who smelled like lots of different cats poked and prodded me all over the place? Did you SEE what she stuck up my butt?! I tell you! Then, just to make things worse, she stuck a NEEDLE in me!
But she did shave the big mat out of my fur, and that made me feel better, so I did purr for her eventually. Don't tell anybody, okay?